Thomas Francis Stapleton

   Thomas Francis Stapleton, 81, departed this earth for heaven after a long and courageous battle with cancer early on Tuesday morning, May 4, 2021. Julia, his wife of 57 years was at his side at their home in the Albemarle Plantation, Hertford, N.C.

   Tom always had a smile to share, an encouraging word to pass on, and a twinkle in his blue eyes. As a husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and uncle, he was extremely proud of his family’s accomplishments and was happy to discuss their latest exploits with anyone expressing the slightest interest.  Always maintaining a positive outlook on life with a can-do attitude, he was a willing volunteer for all types of events.  A highlight of his year was his annual St. Patrick’s Day party, where he was renowned as the master Irish Coffee maker.

   Given his constant optimism, Tom was the personification of a “Glass Half-Full” kind of guy. As one friend put it, “Every encounter I ever had with him left me feeling like a million bucks.” Another said, “I feel very lucky to have known him.”

   Born on July 11, 1939, in the Bronx, N.Y., to the late Patrick and Helen Finn Stapleton, Tom spent his early years in the Bronx.  As a young boy, the family moved to Maywood, N.J., where he attended Our Lady Queen of Peace and graduated in 1957 from Xavier High School, New York City.  In 1965, Tom graduated from the New Jersey Institute of Technology (then Newark College of Engineering) with a bachelor of science degree in Electrical Engineering and went on to earn a Masters in Business Administration from Fairleigh Dickinson University.

   Tom married Julia Hofbauer at Assumption Church, Wood-Ridge, N.J., on Jan. 25, 1964. They were very happy together all through the years and had three fantastic children, Tom, Michael and Maureen. For the first 21 years of their marriage, they resided in Boonton Township, N.J., where Tom was an active fire department volunteer and was the Fire Chief from 1976-77.  He also served his church, St. Catherine of Siena, in Mountain Lakes, and volunteered for numerous community service projects.  They moved to Doylestown, Pa., in 1985 for five years and then returned to New Jersey where they lived in Readington and then Ewing.  In 2007, they retired to Albemarle Plantation in Hertford, with joy in their hearts and a zest for a more leisurely living lifestyle. He was very proud of his New Jersey roots, and like a good son of New Jersey, didn’t care what people thought about that.

   In his professional work, Tom served as a senior executive for high technology defense contractors. He mainly worked on systems for aerospace programs including the F-15 fighter plane, which his son, Michael, later flew. He held a top secret security clearance, so when you asked him what was happening at work, he wasn’t being difficult when replying that he couldn’t tell you. He just wasn’t allowed.  So his children were never quite sure what he did when he went to work.

   When he retired to North Carolina, Tom volunteered for the Open Door Food Pantry of Perquimans County, served on the board of the Osprey Yacht Club, and volunteered for numerous Plantation activities.  He also assisted in a variety of ways at the Boys & Girls Club, Edenton Chowan.  Tom was an active member of St. Anne Catholic Church, Edenton.  But of all his retirement adventures, he received the greatest pleasure from traveling and visiting with family and friends – especially with his treasured children and grandchildren. 

   Tom was preceded in death by beloved son, Michael Peter, Colonel USAF, his parents, and his brothers, Robert and Paul.

   Survivors include his much-loved wife, Julia; his son, Tom, and daughter-in-law, Lee, and grand-daughters, Emmalee and Calla and great-grandson Kirk, of Huntersville, N.C.; his daughter, Maureen and son-in-law, Tim Coulter, and grandsons, Andrew and Nicholas, of London, England; and daughter-in-law, Christine and granddaughter Jasmine of New Delhi, India, and grandsons, Jon of Harrisonburg, Va., and James of Destin, Fla. Also surviving is his youngest brother Philip of Lake Tahoe and Palm Springs, Calif.; numerous and well-loved nieces and nephews, and dear friends and neighbors from near and far.

   The Mass of Resurrection will be held for Tom at St. Anne Catholic Church, Edenton, N.C., at 11 a.m. on Monday, May 10. This service will be followed by the interment of his ashes in the St. Anne Memorial Garden.  In lieu of flowers the family requests memorial donations be made to the Open Door Food Pantry of Perquimans County, Hertford, N.C.  A GoFundMe page has been created for donations at https://www.gofundme.com/f/tom-stapleton-memorial.